I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The uberlube is also flammable
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
