Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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