Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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