Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
