she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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