She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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