This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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