Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
where does the pee come out of this thing
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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