Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I touched a dick in church today
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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