in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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