wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
