thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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