Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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