I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
