is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
