Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
