It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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