yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
