If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
