those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Randomize
