I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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