I CAN MOONWALK!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
