Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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