ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
