Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
