is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
well you can't waste a boner
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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