Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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