Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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