there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And my parents said I crawled through the house
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
