I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I need moral support for this bender
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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