K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
P.S. I can't hear my feet
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
