Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
