I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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