remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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