she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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