That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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