My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
