Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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