you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Randomize
