i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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