12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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