You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Randomize
