Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
