come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
