Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Randomize
