How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
