I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
