if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
