xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
