I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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